A Lesson While Doing Laundry

I was recently doing laundry at a friend’s home. She showed me how her washing machine works and after that, I got things underway. Now normally washing machines effortlessly go from one part of the cycle to the next until it’s finished, but once the machine got filled up with water, nothing happened.

I alerted my friend that I didn’t hear the cycle change so we went to investigate. It turned out that sometimes her machine (for now apparent reason) will not move on to the next cycle unless you press the START button a second time. After that, it’s groovy gravy. (And yes, I did just say that!)

This got me thinking about how 2020 has been a lot like that moment with the stalled washing machine. We began thinking that things would just roll along as they usually do until… COVID19. Now we find ourselves stuck in a cycle that we desperately want to get out of but we must restart to move on.

Masks or no masks at all. Schools open then shut down. Businesses go on lockdown then open up only to go back on lockdown again. The Government increases unemployment benefits but then stalls on a stimulus package. The General Election is over and there appears to be a new administration on the horizon, yet the current Administration will not concede, thereby impeding the peaceful transition of power. In the words of Marvin Gaye, “makes me wanna holla and throw up both my hands.”

I submit to you that it’s time to admit that what we’re doing is simply not working. But moreover, I submit to you Followers of Christ (not just Christians), that we’ve been given the answer to an open-book test. The Word of God is not just a great book to read in your spare time. It actually has keys in it to unlock the door to solving a lot of our problems. 

While several scriptures come to my mind, one stands out loud and clear in this strange era. So if we ever hope to turn things around in this world, we’d better listen and learn to apply it liberally:

“If my people who are called by My Name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.”  2 Chronicles 7:14 ESV

It’s important to note that God was speaking to King Solomon during a time when things were going well in the land of Israel. Solomon had just completed the building and dedication of The Temple of God as well as his own palace. Afterward, he took a moment to reflect and rest. Then during the night, God spoke to him. Because Solomon had demonstrated his trust in God and his obedience, God gave him a covenant promise. 

Whenever the Kingdom of Israel found themselves in trouble, even due to their own disobedience, all they had to do to turn failure into favor was adhere to the four principles of that covenant promise:

1. Humble yourself before God

2. Pray 

3. Seek God’s face

4. Turn from your own wickedness

Bouncing between wickedness and righteousness is not just a longstanding American issue, it’s an issue of the human condition all over this world.

I believe this is how we get stuck in crisis mode. And whether you believe in Jesus Christ or not, it doesn’t take much to realize that we are collectively in deep trouble. The question is, what are we willing to do about it?

I happen to believe in God. I am a genuine Follower of Christ. By no means perfect, just willing to allow The Holy Spirit to help me to improve each day. I fail, I fall, I repent, and I get back in the game. But I cannot be serious about taking this stance unless I am willing to live in the truth, not in denial. And how do I do that? See the previously mentioned four principles.

Want to bring this current crazy cycle to a close? Don't we all!

Let’s press that proverbial START button... again. 

Please and thank you. :)

Surrender... It's Worth It

Have you ever asked God for a certain thing but when He answered, the outcome wasn’t quite what you wanted? Sometimes He answers in an unexpected way. Sometimes He answers in an undesired way. But you cannot deny that it is indeed His answer. Yeah… that feeling right there. Did you feel it? Can you relate?

I’ve felt this feeling many times. I said I wanted His will to be done, but what I really wanted was His will MY way. I know. Exactly how did I possibly think that was going to work out? Honestly, it's not like He ever promised to give me what I had in mind anyway.

If you have any genuine experience following Jesus Christ, you already know this is NOT how He rolls at all. Now this is the point where you have an opportunity for promotion.

I see you scratching your head at this word “promotion.” But yes, promotion. Leveling up in ways you probably hadn’t anticipated. But here’s the thing - the prerequisite for this divine promotion can only come through surrender. Surrendering your agenda, your plans, your dreams, your previous beliefs, your motives, popular opinion and faulty assumptions. In essence, your whole will, Sis!

It is at the point of surrender that you become a clean slate, ready for the Author and Finisher of your faith to write His plan on your heart. At first, it’s going to feel strange, unnatural, and unbalanced. It will cost you some relationships and your reputation. It will mess with your bottom line. It will challenge your theology. It will feel like you’re dying. And guess what? YOU are. The you that tends to edge Jesus off of the throne of your life whenever His will challenges whatever you deem right, just, normal or proper.

Trust me. He aims to challenge everything you think you know about Him so that He can reveal to you who He really is. When this starts to happen -- let it. It’s the only way you’ll learn to separate truth from tradition. Remember, Jesus said that it is the TRUTH that will set you free. And isn’t that what you really want anyway? To be free? Free to realize and become who God created you to be.

Let me tell you, the day I stopped digging in my heels in protest and I began to allow God to reveal Himself to me in His own way, my soul began to settle. I grew in courage and began to use His words and my voice to chase away doubt and unbelief. Fear is decreasing, faith is increasing, and my hope is resurrected.

If you find yourself struggling with the way the Lord is moving in your life, I hope you’ll take the plunge and find out what’s on the other side of your surrender.

Peace to you...

Hiding Behind My Hair

Have you seen the new Netflix movie, Nappily Ever After? Upon the recommendation of my daughter, Tyler, I watched it and it got me thinking.

Not to give away any spoilers, but the main character, Violet, represents so many women; obsessing our whole lives over what our hair says about us. From relaxers to naturals, from weaves to wigs, the  volatile love-hate relationship between us and our tresses rages on.

I can relate.

Sometimes my hair trials are flat-out funny. But then there are times I find myself angry when my hair won't cooperate. It seems like the mass on top of my head has become personified as a mortal enemy, threatening to expose my most intimate flaws to the public.

And don't you laugh if I sound extra! You know it's true.

A couple of days before I watched Nappily Ever After I had a much-needed wake-up call about me and my personal hair drama.

A dear friend had invited me to attend a Women's Day celebration at her church. I had already committed to go with her just weeks prior. I knew how much it would mean to her for me to be there in support. Then the night before, I found myself coming up with all kinds of excuses to my husband about why I should back out of going. But do you want to know my primary excuse? My freakin' hair!

There I was, standing before a mirror detesting the burgeoning new growth sprouting out from beneath my natural locs. My stress was skyrocketing just thinking about the task of trying to tame my hair well enough for it not to attract any negative attention. I had chosen a nice outfit, cute shoes, and a lovely handbag. My hair was the only member of the ensemble that wouldn't cooperate and it was completely overshadowing everything else. How silly is that?

Thank God for the encouragement of my husband, B. J. He reminded me of why I agreed to go to the event in the first place - TO SUPPORT MY FRIEND. He also reminded me that I possessed enough creativity to come up with a decent hairstyle and urged me not to let something as trivial as a hairdo blind me to what matters most.

That was the kick in the tail I needed to get things into perspective.

I gave my new growth a quick, fresh re-twist, moisturized my locs, and attended that event with my friend without giving another thought to what my hair looked like. Once my hair was out of the way, I could freely enjoy the program, be present in the moment when my friend sang her song, and fully celebrate every woman in the room. It was glorious!

And to think that all of that would have been missed if I had continued to be fixated on this false standard of beauty or acceptability predicated by the condition of my hair.

Why does hair have to be such a struggle in the first place? Is it because we as women are socially conditioned to base far too much value on our physical appearance? Probably. Think about it. How do you define the proverbial "good hair day"? Quite likely as a day in which not only you, but other people whose opinions you value think your hair looks exceptional. I swear it can feel like being an unwitting contestant in a perpetual beauty contest; objectified on demand.

It makes me wonder how many times has my hair been allowed to dictate my worth, my value, even my mood? How many times have I assumed that others are just as obsessed with my hair as I am?
How many opportunities have I allowed my hair to rob me of? How many meaningful moments in my life have been sacrificed because of my hair?

Well I can tell you for certain, NO MORE!

I choose to accept my curly, coiled, 4C hair and all of its unruly wonder. I have made a conscience effort to remove the undue significance I've erroneously given to my hair (and all my other physical features) and get back to the true foundation of my identity: my character and my boundless spirit.
And as I practice embracing and appreciating these features as premiums, I find myself stepping out of the shadows of superficiality and it is making all the difference in the world!