Surrender... It's Worth It

Have you ever asked God for a certain thing but when He answered, the outcome wasn’t quite what you wanted? Sometimes He answers in an unexpected way. Sometimes He answers in an undesired way. But you cannot deny that it is indeed His answer. Yeah… that feeling right there. Did you feel it? Can you relate?

I’ve felt this feeling many times. I said I wanted His will to be done, but what I really wanted was His will MY way. I know. Exactly how did I possibly think that was going to work out? Honestly, it's not like He ever promised to give me what I had in mind anyway.

If you have any genuine experience following Jesus Christ, you already know this is NOT how He rolls at all. Now this is the point where you have an opportunity for promotion.

I see you scratching your head at this word “promotion.” But yes, promotion. Leveling up in ways you probably hadn’t anticipated. But here’s the thing - the prerequisite for this divine promotion can only come through surrender. Surrendering your agenda, your plans, your dreams, your previous beliefs, your motives, popular opinion and faulty assumptions. In essence, your whole will, Sis!

It is at the point of surrender that you become a clean slate, ready for the Author and Finisher of your faith to write His plan on your heart. At first, it’s going to feel strange, unnatural, and unbalanced. It will cost you some relationships and your reputation. It will mess with your bottom line. It will challenge your theology. It will feel like you’re dying. And guess what? YOU are. The you that tends to edge Jesus off of the throne of your life whenever His will challenges whatever you deem right, just, normal or proper.

Trust me. He aims to challenge everything you think you know about Him so that He can reveal to you who He really is. When this starts to happen -- let it. It’s the only way you’ll learn to separate truth from tradition. Remember, Jesus said that it is the TRUTH that will set you free. And isn’t that what you really want anyway? To be free? Free to realize and become who God created you to be.

Let me tell you, the day I stopped digging in my heels in protest and I began to allow God to reveal Himself to me in His own way, my soul began to settle. I grew in courage and began to use His words and my voice to chase away doubt and unbelief. Fear is decreasing, faith is increasing, and my hope is resurrected.

If you find yourself struggling with the way the Lord is moving in your life, I hope you’ll take the plunge and find out what’s on the other side of your surrender.

Peace to you...

Hiding Behind My Hair

Have you seen the new Netflix movie, Nappily Ever After? Upon the recommendation of my daughter, Tyler, I watched it and it got me thinking.

Not to give away any spoilers, but the main character, Violet, represents so many women; obsessing our whole lives over what our hair says about us. From relaxers to naturals, from weaves to wigs, the  volatile love-hate relationship between us and our tresses rages on.

I can relate.

Sometimes my hair trials are flat-out funny. But then there are times I find myself angry when my hair won't cooperate. It seems like the mass on top of my head has become personified as a mortal enemy, threatening to expose my most intimate flaws to the public.

And don't you laugh if I sound extra! You know it's true.

A couple of days before I watched Nappily Ever After I had a much-needed wake-up call about me and my personal hair drama.

A dear friend had invited me to attend a Women's Day celebration at her church. I had already committed to go with her just weeks prior. I knew how much it would mean to her for me to be there in support. Then the night before, I found myself coming up with all kinds of excuses to my husband about why I should back out of going. But do you want to know my primary excuse? My freakin' hair!

There I was, standing before a mirror detesting the burgeoning new growth sprouting out from beneath my natural locs. My stress was skyrocketing just thinking about the task of trying to tame my hair well enough for it not to attract any negative attention. I had chosen a nice outfit, cute shoes, and a lovely handbag. My hair was the only member of the ensemble that wouldn't cooperate and it was completely overshadowing everything else. How silly is that?

Thank God for the encouragement of my husband, B. J. He reminded me of why I agreed to go to the event in the first place - TO SUPPORT MY FRIEND. He also reminded me that I possessed enough creativity to come up with a decent hairstyle and urged me not to let something as trivial as a hairdo blind me to what matters most.

That was the kick in the tail I needed to get things into perspective.

I gave my new growth a quick, fresh re-twist, moisturized my locs, and attended that event with my friend without giving another thought to what my hair looked like. Once my hair was out of the way, I could freely enjoy the program, be present in the moment when my friend sang her song, and fully celebrate every woman in the room. It was glorious!

And to think that all of that would have been missed if I had continued to be fixated on this false standard of beauty or acceptability predicated by the condition of my hair.

Why does hair have to be such a struggle in the first place? Is it because we as women are socially conditioned to base far too much value on our physical appearance? Probably. Think about it. How do you define the proverbial "good hair day"? Quite likely as a day in which not only you, but other people whose opinions you value think your hair looks exceptional. I swear it can feel like being an unwitting contestant in a perpetual beauty contest; objectified on demand.

It makes me wonder how many times has my hair been allowed to dictate my worth, my value, even my mood? How many times have I assumed that others are just as obsessed with my hair as I am?
How many opportunities have I allowed my hair to rob me of? How many meaningful moments in my life have been sacrificed because of my hair?

Well I can tell you for certain, NO MORE!

I choose to accept my curly, coiled, 4C hair and all of its unruly wonder. I have made a conscience effort to remove the undue significance I've erroneously given to my hair (and all my other physical features) and get back to the true foundation of my identity: my character and my boundless spirit.
And as I practice embracing and appreciating these features as premiums, I find myself stepping out of the shadows of superficiality and it is making all the difference in the world!

ME23: 6 Steps to Turn Your Resolutions into Your Revolution (Part 6)

Hey D-Viners!

We've made it to the final step of my ME23 blog series. 

Today, you're allowed to look behind you because it's important to know who's got your back. The last verse of Psalm 23 introduces you to two of the best BFF's you could ever have on your squad - GOODNESS AND MERCY.

"Surely your GOODNESS and UNFAILING LOVE shall pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever."

Psalm 23:6 NLT

Principle #6: What's Behind You is Greater Than What's in Front of You

When our son, Drew, was a little boy, he loved to be chased. Whether it was time to play or put on his clothes, it just delighted him to no end to see us scrambling to catch him. At first glance, it would appear that he was trying to get away, that he didn't want to be caught. But you could tell by the giggles every time he looked back over his shoulder that the real joy was in him knowing that were pursuing him. Conversely, if we stopped our pursuit, he'd stop laughing. 

Now, picture yourself being like our precocious young son. Running and giggling with delight, knowing that you're about to be overtaken by something awesome from your Heavenly Father.

I know, I know. You're a full grown woman now with responsibilities and all, but just humor me, okay? 

God's goodness and mercy (or unfailing love as the NLT puts it) are always on your trail. They are present and actively supporting you even when it doesn't seem like it. 

Perhaps your experiences have left you feeling like you've got nothing and no one to depend on. But that couldn't be further from the truth. The fact that you keep waking up every morning is all the proof you need that God is by your side, ready, willing and able to guide you by His spirit and sustain you with His grace. Your circumstances may try to distort this fact, but that doesn't mean it's not true.

What's the takeaway?

Notice that the verse says goodness and mercy "follow" you. So that means you must be going somewhere, right? Don't allow discouragement to steal what you have left. Get up, dust yourself off from yesterday's battle, and get moving. 

It's okay if you have to take baby steps. Progress is not defined by quantity, but by consistency. Remember, with goodness and mercy behind you, it really doesn't matter what's in front of you.

Action Step

What area of your life have you stopped moving in?

Post it in the comments and I'll be happy to pray for you and offer practical tips to help you get back on track and cross that finish line.

********

Did you like this ME23 blog series? If you did, tell other women about it by posting the link to today's post on social media. 

If you haven't already done so, take some time to review the entire 6-part series. It's like a puzzle. It takes each piece to get the whole picture.

Also, feel free to suggest future topics you'd like for me to do as a blog series. I'll accept any reasonable challenge. :)

Until next time,

D-Vine Blessings to You!

ME23: 6 Steps to Turn Your Resolutions into Your Revolution (Part 5)

Greetings from The D-Vine!

Wow! I don't know about you, but 2016 has gotten off to a crazy start for me. As I mentioned in my last post, my family and I are working on something and there's a big transition that goes along with it. But I promise, when it's all over, you'll get the exclusive story from yours truly. :)

Now, let's dive in to Part 5 of ME23!

Psalm 23:5 NLT

"You prepare a FEAST for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup OVERFLOWS with blessings."

Principle #5: You Already Have More Than What it Takes to Win

I spent more time pondering this particular verse than any of the first four verses. To me, it personifies what a real personal revolution is all about. If you've already come this far in my blog series, I believe it's because you don't want to just survive, you want to THRIVE! 

There's a lasting result that we're after here, and it should have an exponential impact on how you do life. So in order to help you get the most out of this week's principle, I thought I'd break it down into its three essential points.

1. When you think of a feast, you probably think of food, right? Well, I think with this verse the psalmist is trying to tell us to think in terms of abundance in the face of lack. In other words, to know that you have more than enough going for you even if your situation says otherwise. The power doesn't lie in the enemy you face. It lies in how you face your enemy. Say you've been turned down for a job you really wanted because you're under qualified. You can look at it as yet another rejection, or you can see it as putting you a step closer to your perfect position.
2. When is the last time you were honored by someone? I'm not talking about receiving an award or anything. I mean just being truly affirmed and appreciated. That long, huh? LOL! Well here's a golden nugget from this verse that really boosted my confidence. Just as a shepherd pours oil on his sheep's head to keep bugs from irritating or infecting them, God will do the same for you. Facing negativity in any form is not always easy, and the forces behind it can be as annoying as a swarm of gnats. But consider this. To be anointed means to be chosen by "divine election." That means that no matter what comes at you, you've already been "elected" by God as the winner.
3. You're not waiting for abundance to strike. You already possess it! Jesus said, "Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot." (Luke 12:15 MSG). Remember, PERCEPTION is the name of the game. Here's an awkward but very apt example of this. Kanye West and Donald Trump are two names that are trending high in the media right now because of their outrageous self-promoting antics. While I don't condone their egomaniacal ways, it's hard to miss the fact that because of the way they perceive themselves, they act with great confidence and it's getting them results. Yes, you should be humble, not prideful. But being humble does not mean you should ignore or downplay what you've been given to work with. Flip the script and start perceiving yourself through God's eyes, as more than a conqueror, and overflow will begin to manifest all over your life. 

What's the takeaway?

Your battle is fought and won in your HEAD first, not in your heart. Don't let how you feel distort the truth. To live the abundant life, you must revolutionize your thinking. The less garbage you put in, the less you'll get out. Become much more selective about what you lend your brainpower to. 

Action Step

In a recent interview with Vogue magazine, presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton remarked that while she's great at advocating for other people, she's not so good at doing it for herself. But now she perceives herself differently than she did a few years ago, and she's better able to give a clear voice to what makes her the best person for President.

If you feel you don't have enough, or you simply aren't enough, I want you to take a bold step. Post a comment on the D-Vine blog page stating a quality (not anything material) that you know you have in abundance. If you want to take it a step further, put that same post on your Facebook or Twitter page with the hashtag #IamenoughME23. I'll start the ball rolling.

I am abundantly gifted at being a great listener

The point is to OWN IT. Make it a practice to perceive your abundance in your everyday life. When you do, you'll transform into the woman you were always meant to be - despite any opposition.

Until next time, BE WHO YOU ARE AND LOVE IT!

ME23: 6 Steps to Turn Your Resolutions into Your Revolution (Part 4)

 

photo source: embracehiscall.com

Hey D-Viners!

Yes, I know. I've been away from the keyboard for a minute. But it's because I'm in the middle of a big transition right now (still in it, as a matter of fact). But it's all good. More about that later.

I didn't want to leave you in suspense about the next post in my ME23 series. So let's get back on track, shall we?

Next up... Psalm 23:4

"Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff PROTECT and COMFORT me."

Principle #4: You Will Find Comfort in the Protection of Discipline

I know, I know. Comfort is not usually the first word that comes to mind when you think of discipline. But it's true. Science has proven it again and again.

Prime example: If you discipline yourself to eat healthier and become more physically active, you will start to slim down, your energy and confidence will increase, and your overall disposition will improve. Hence, COMFORT ensues.

Now let's put that into context using Psalm 23:4. What can we extract from this verse to help you revolutionize your life right now?

First of all, it is inevitable that you will experience dark valleys in your life from time to time. We all do. But remember, they don't come to stay. They come to pass. The point is, when you go through these seasons, it's not about what's happening to or around you, it's HOW you respond. This is where discipline comes in. 

To help you fully appreciate the wisdom of Principle #4, I thought I'd share some facts about how ancient shepherds used only a simple rod and staff to preserve the lives of their sheep.

THE ROD

• Used to safeguard the sheep from danger 
• Thrown out to alert the sheep that has wandered away
• Used to closely inspect and examine the sheep's overall condition

Are you concerned about doors that have been closed in your life? Don't trip. Most likely, God is protecting you from danger or regret (even if you think you're missing out on a great opportunity).

Do you sense warning bells going off on the inside? Perhaps you've wandered away from the path God has predestined for you. He may be trying to get your attention.

Feeling convicted about things you always claimed as just a part of who you are? Maybe God is trying to separate fact from fiction in order for you to recognize the woman he intends for you to become.

THE STAFF

• Used to draw sheep close together in intimate relationship
• Used to guide the sheep and keep it on the right path
• Used to reach out and catch individual sheep to draw them in for closer examination by the shepherd

Have you been isolating yourself from others out of shame, embarrassment, or frustration? Yes. There may be times when God will call you to a place of solitude for a time. But you must be careful not to initiate these times on your own. When it's prompted by God, you run the risk of being led away by your own emotions.

Did you start out with good intentions, but find that you've lost your way? Stop. Breathe. Listen. God wants to reveal not only what is distracting you, but also why it has the power to do so. This is information you can't afford to ignore.

Do you use busyness to avoid facing yourself? Do you sometimes justify your actions, even when you know you should change? Holding on to your version of the truth doesn't do you or anyone else any good. It's when you willingly lay all your cards on the table (the good, the bad, and the ugly) that you truly become free.

What's the takeaway?

"If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding." ~ Proverbs 15:32

I trust that you love yourself too much to intentionally hurt yourself. Therefore, it would help if you would try seeing correction and discipline as a friend and not a foe. Embracing discipline will bring order to your life and in turn, you'll ultimately find comfort in God's sufficient grace.

Action Step

The foundation of true discipline lies in your ability to release your mindset, your way of doing things, and taking time to learn how God does things. If you're feeling brave enough to be transparent, share an area of your life in which you know that you need to relinquish control to God. I will commit to praying for you and encouraging you to follow through in that specific area.

You may post your response here on the blog, or share it with a close and trusted friend. The aim here is to be accountable for initiating the change you seek.

Stay tuned for Part 5 of my ME23 blog series!

Peace & Blessings,

Tracy 

ME23: 6 Steps to Turn Your Resolutions Into Your Revolution (Part 3)

Welcome back, D-Viners!

Did you enjoy last week's installment of ME23? If so, you're going to love this week's foray into Psalm 23:3 because it's all about POWER.

"He renews my STRENGTH. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name."

Psalm 23:3 (NLT)

For further emphasis, I'd like to also use The Message translation of this same verse.

"True to your word, you let me CATCH MY BREATH and send me in the right direction."

Psalm 23:3 (MSG)

Principle #3: The Power is in the Pause

As many of you know, I'm on a journey toward being a healthier, fitter me. As I've been making small changes  here and there, I find myself growing a deeper appreciation for the wonder and complexity that is the human body. I'm learning more and more about the many factors that make the body operate at it's fullest potential. One of those factors is rest/sleep.

You've probably been hearing more and more in the media about the importance of getting a good night's sleep, and there's good reason for it.

"A night of uninterrupted sleep(will) leave (our) bodies and minds rejuvenated for the next day. If sleep is cut short, the body doesn’t have time to complete all of the phases needed for muscle repair, memory consolidation and release of hormones regulating growth and appetite. Then we wake up less prepared to concentrate, make decisions, or engage fully in school, (work) and social activities." 

~ The National Sleep Foundation

Clearly, rest is not only important, it is crucial to the quality of your life. But I want to talk to about more than rest for your body. Let's talk about rest for your mind/soul.

If you've ever had a sleepless night, chances are it wasn't because of physical pain. It was probably a cluttered mind that kept you tossing and turning.

Worry, anxiety, fear, anger. This is not the crowd you want to hang out with. Think of them as thieves that create restlessness inside of you in order to drain you of your power.

Just as your body cannot regulate, renew, or replenish when you are deprived of rest, the same holds true for your soul. Like The Message translation above so aptly puts it, you need time to catch your breath.When you don't put yourself on pause, you lose much more than you think you do.

Yes. I know there is a tendency in this performance-driven culture we live in to think you must stay in overdrive or else you'll be missing out. And I'm sure somewhere in the back of your mind, you probably know this isn't right. But just like any other bad habit, you've probably been doing it so long, you don't know how to stop.

• You've got great ideas, but you can't stop long enough to implement them
• You've got an issue that needs to be addressed, but you won't take to deal with it
• You don't mean to be insensitive, but you've got so many irons in the fire you've sacrificed even your most cherished relationships
• Your emotions are a wreck, but you're too tired to even pray about them

Any of this sound familiar? Don't feel bad. You can choose to change.

What's the takeaway?

On the streets you'd be told to CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF.

I'm telling you PAUSE to get your POWER back. And I don't mean power to keep on running at the same old break-neck speed. I'm talking about REAL POWER. Power to get the right perspective. Power to walk your path. Power to live out your purpose. Jesus himself often employed this principle (Luke 5:16) and it served him well. You should too.

But make no mistake. The pause is not just about unloading your baggage. It's more about fueling up for what lies ahead. The good things. The promises that God will fulfill in your life. The energy and enthusiasm you will have once you clear your soul of its clutter. That's the sweet spot.

Action Step

Take a moment right now to do a brain dump.

Write down everything that is weighing you down, pressuring you, worrying you, etc. Read them out loud to yourself. Then take that piece of paper, rip it up, and throw it away. Right after that, pray Psalm 23 out loud to yourself as many times as you need to in order to release those things. Finally, just breathe. Use this pause to allow the natural flow of the Holy Spirit to refresh and renew your spirit.

Check back in with me to share how ME23 is helping you to turn things around in your life. I want to see a wall of continuous victories in that comment section!

Be sure to tell a friend about this blog series by sharing the link. I'll meet you back here next week.

Stay in it to win it!

ME23: 6 Steps to Turn Your Resolutions Into Your Revolution (Part 2)

photo courtesy of memrise.com

Welcome to Part 2 of ME23! My new 6-week blog series that puts a new twist on Psalm 23. 

Each week, I'm offering a new building block based on one of the six verses in Psalm 23. If you haven't already done so, you can catch up with Week 1 here. 

Now, let's open up the goodies nestled inside of verse 2!

"He lets me REST in green meadows; he leads me beside PEACEFUL streams."

Psalm 23:2 (NLT)

Principal #2: Never Forfeit Your Benefits

A couple of months ago, I received an email notification from my insurance company reminding me to use my 2015 dental benefits before the end of the year or else lose them. That little reminder prompted me to set aside some time to take advantage of those benefits.

Think of verse 2 that way; a reminder of about your unused benefits - REST and PEACE. 

Fortunately, these benefits come from God, so they are always available. There's no expiration date. But what good is it to have benefits that you never actually use?

If you're being pulled in too many directions these days, it's a good bet that you haven't been resting. And if you're haven't resting, you're probably not at peace. And if you're not at peace, chances are you won't stick to any plan that will lead to the results you desire in your life.

Now, I'm not telling you to chuck all of your responsibilities and run off into the wild blue yonder (although that may sound mighty good to you right now). I'm simply telling you that REST IS A CHOICE. 

You don't have to accept all the drama that is randomly tossed at your feet.  

• Your co-worker has an attitude with you and you don't even know why
• The cashier at the fast-food restaurant gave you the wrong order then took forever to correct her mistake
• Your sisters asked you to help plan the family reunion, but you've been doing most of the work by yourself

I've got many more examples, but I'm sure you get the picture. Quite frankly, do you really have any more room for unnecessary distractions?

What's the takeaway?

You've got a BETTER option. But it only benefits you if you use it.  So, GO GREEN! Accept God's open invitation to step out of the chaos and into the green meadows and peaceful streams He has waiting for you.

Action Step

You can't always retreat from certain issues or circumstances and go get your head together. But that doesn't stop your soul from crying out for relief, does it?

Start practicing the habit of SELF-SANCTUARY. This is when you designate guarded time every day, 5 to 10 minutes to begin with, to unplug. I'm not just talking about vegging out. It's a matter of focus; not on the things that drain you of life, but on the things that give you life.

You may not even be sure of what those things are, but that's where self-sanctuary shines. It gives you an exit lane so that you can identify and connect with what you actually need.

Leave me a comment telling me what you're discovering about yourself as you put this into action. And if you're enjoying this blog series so far, share the link with a friend. :)

Until next week, D-Viners!

ME23: 6 Steps to Turn Your Resolutions into Your Revolution (Part 1)

Happy New Year! 

Welcome to 2016 AND ME23 - my new 6-week blog series

Are you bored with resolutions and ready to experience a personal REVOLUTION? Good!

For the next six weeks, I'm going to share a wisdom key from an age-old classic - Psalm 23 (New Living Translation Version). Each of the six verses in this psalm carries a simple principle that can set you up for success from the inside out. Each week, I'll break each principle down for you so that it's easily understandable and immediately applicable. Some of the series will be in regular blog post style and some will be in the form of a short video to help me more effectively illustrate certain points. But rest assured, it's going to be an experience that will lift you above your circumstances and into the realm of the PROMISED and the POSSIBLE.

Let's do this!

"The Lord is MY shepherd, I have ALL that I need."

Psalm 23:1 NLT

Principle #1: Celebrate Your Dependence 

"Sisters are Doing it for Themselves"

"I'm Every Woman"

"Girl on Fire"

I could go on and on listing the titles of great songs to pump you up with superwoman empowerment. As a post-modern woman, you're probably used to being cheered on to be fiercely independent; to look within to find your power - and rightly so. 

But the reality is that there is a power much greater than anything you could ever muster up on your own, and if you don't (or won't) accept this fact, you'll always be working against yourself.

Now, I've got nothing against New Year's resolutions. As a matter of fact, I'm a big fan of goals and planning. But every great and lasting change always starts with a revolution - a challenge to the status quo. 

The challenge I put before you today is to acknowledge, first and foremost, that

WITHOUT GOD, YOU CAN DO NOTHING

(John 15:5)

If you're a Christian, this seems almost redundant... a no-brainer. But be honest. How many times have you stressed yourself out because you failed to keep this in mind? 

Time out for bearing needless pain, girlfriend! If you want to get set up for true, lasting success, it starts with this singular admission. This is the foundation to everything you will ever be in life.

Declare your dependence upon your Creator. Throw all your cares on God. He can take it. It's nothing to be embarrassed about either. No one's keeping score (even if they act like they were hired to do so). 

You are His intricate and exquisitely unique creation. Only He has the blueprint to develop and lead you toward your authentic self. Don't get so wrapped up in day-to-day details that you neglect to engage your divine connection.

What's the Takeaway?

STOP trying to do it all, know it all, and be it all. Relinquish your need to control everything and everybody, and tap into God's ample supply of grace (pure, unconditional love that provides what you could never deserve).

Action Step

START becoming God-inside-minded and declare your blessed DEPENDENCE. Post this visual reminder at your desk, on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator door, the dashboard in your car, or whatever you lay your eyes on everyday: 

"Let go. You can rest now. God's got this!"

Whatever you need, whatever you think you don't already have, you'll find it when you commit to trading your pressure for His presence. That's where you'll get your right mind back. That's when clarity comes, peace prevails, and creativity begins to flow freely.

Sound too good to be true? Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. 

Leave me a comment and tell me how putting this week's ME23 principle into action is helping you.

Until next week...

Happy Holidays from The D-Vine!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

from My Family to Yours

Tyler, Tracy, Reagan, B. J., & Drew

Enjoy this season with family and friends. Remember that the birth of Jesus Christ, the savior of the world and the Prince of Peace, is the REAL reason for the season.

Taking a break from blogging next week, but coming back with something NEW & EXCITING JUST FOR YOU! Get ready to kick into full gear in 2016 with my six-week series: ME23.

Before I go, here's some Christmas cheer for you to groove on. :)

Back in Stride Again

(photo credit: augustaga.gov)

Hello Fellow Champion!

Does the holiday season tend to get you off your game? It happens to me almost every year. As you can probably tell by the dates on my last few posts, I've been M.I.A. for a couple of weeks.

That's how it goes with me. I'll be making great strides, firing on all cylinders - mind, soul, and body. Then as soon as Thanksgiving comes around, I tend to get distracted with all the sights and smells and sounds of the holiday season. And then the bottom falls out. I start eating waaaay to many sweets and getting off-focus and off-task.

But this year, I've made some improvements, I must say.

I set two primary goals. That's right, only TWO. Why? Because I'm old enough now to realize the importance of not biting of more then I know I can chew.

First up, my fitness. When our eldest went off to college at the end of August, I committed to doing a 30-minute workout, Monday through Friday, every week, and with only a couple of missed days due to illness, I've stayed on track. My handsome hubby is a BIG part of the reason for this because he keeps me accountable to what he knows is important to me. (Love you, Babe!)

Second, my writing. I've been writing for years, mostly for other people. But a couple of years ago, I committed to making more time to write for myself. I had a lot of creative ideas floating around in my head, including an amazing novel (which I intend to publish in early 2016), but I wasn't doing much with them. Then one day, I rediscovered the power of the plan. Plans are the road map for your good intentions. Without one, they simply have no where to go. 

My goal is to broaden my blog's exposure to like-minded women. So the first step in my grand plan was to become consisting in posting something relevant to The D-Vine once a week. Now granted, I'm still tweaking and fine-tuning this one, but I give myself a high-five for improved effort. To top it all off, I recently had a friend who was so inspired by seeing my consistent blog posts on Facebook, he reached out to ask how he could start his own blog. Imagine that... and I'm not even blogging at top form - YET! 

The moral of today's post: ENJOY THE SEASON, BUT DON'T LOSE THE REASON.

Yes, this is the time of year that we celebrate the birth of our Great Redeemer, Jesus Christ, but that's the whole point. He came to help you redeem what was lost in the garden - your faith, your strength, your stride.

So what if you dropped the ball for the umpteenth time? That's what grace is for. Take hold of it again and get back in focus. You don't need January 1st for that. You can start right now!

Until next week...

Hugs & Happy Holidays!

P. S. I've got a hot new blog series coming out in January 2016 called ME-23. You're gonna LOVE it! It's a new twist on an old classic that is just what the doctor ordered if you're tired of living a lukewarm life. Stay tuned!

Don't Flinch About the Inch

Time.

That's what it takes for things to come full circle in this life. Three hundred and sixty-five days to complete a year. Forty weeks for a baby to be born full-term. If you have a tendency to want to rush things along, for instance

• A relationship with someone you REALLY like
• Mastering a new skill
• Finding the answer to a challenging problem, or
• Healing from an injury

You are probably painfully aware by now of how damaging your impatience can be. After a few bumps on my own head, I learned to calm the heck down. Who's time was I trying to beat anyway? I was stressing myself out for nothing, that is, until I found out that the sweet spot is found in the single steps you take, not in the jumps you make.

I used to frustrate myself by trying to compare my journey with someone else's, or just by plain rebelling against the wisdom of God. I was afraid that His way was going to take longer and be harder than the way I wanted to go. (Because I'm so smart!)

Over time (ironically enough) I learned the value of letting the seasons of life run their course. After all, they are just seasons. So that means they eventually have to change, right? Once this reality kicked in, I began to manage my expectations much better by setting them according to God's standard and not my own. My standard is usually contaminated with shortsightedness and manipulative motives that are often self-serving (how I want to look or feel or live). His is always pointed toward the bigger picture, which usually has to do with way more than just little ole me.

So the next time you feel yourself about to go there, or you're already there and you need to come back from the edge, try asking yourself these questions: 

• What am I really after?
• Why do I want this?
• Why do I need to do or have this now?
• Is this realistic?

Be real. Don't sugarcoat your motives. Denial only brings about delays. Honest answers, even the ones you may be too ashamed to admit, act as a compass to your soul. They help you determine where you truly are so that you can better discern where you need to be. And isn't that the goal in the first place - to get where you need to be?

Take your time and learn your lessons. Your future deserves this. Even if you can only make one step a day, that's PROGRESS! If you focus on how far or how long, you'll give up. Instead, set your sights on what you can do with what you've got and watch God blow your mind as He adds His super to your natural.

Until next time, Keep It Movin', My Sisters!

It's Okay to Be Amazing

Hello There Phenomenal Sisters!

I'm in a Maya kind of mood this week because I'm storming the gates of some of my own obstacles. What about you? Are there some things pushing back against the power of your potential? I gladly share these words of light and wisdom with you. As always, leave me a comment and let me know where you are on your journey. And if you haven't already done so, join us as we get better together by subscribing to The D-Vine.

Be encouraged as you wrap up your week!

~ Tracy

My Pink SHEro

Hello My Sisters!

As you probably already know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Cities across the nation are all pinked out for the purpose of bringing awareness to this pervasive form of cancer and to help hasten the arrival of a cure. It is now widely known that women are not the only ones who can get breast cancer; men can too. So this month we put on our pink gear and we celebrate the courage and perseverance of all our beloved HEros and SHEros, past and present. Today, I salute my very own Pink SHEro. She'd never call herself a warrior, but I say she fits the bill. She's my sister, Brenda James.

When Brenda went through her bout with breast cancer fourteen years ago, she was living several state away from our family. We live in Texas, so most of us didn't get to personally witness the whole of her journey. Our mother was the only one able to go and be with her at the time she first found out. But it has been a desire of mine to get a first-hand account of her story and to share her story with others. So I recently interviewed her and came away with an even greater since of gratitude and appreciation for the woman she is than I had before. Here's what she had to say...

Brenda

Me: How did you first find out you had breast cancer?

Brenda: I went for a mammogram. I hadn't done one in about two years, so I was a little behind schedule, or what they thought was the schedule at the time. They keep changing how often women should have mammograms. I knew it had been a while and I was not doing the breast exams at home. I don't remember if it was a letter or a call, but they asked me to come back in for another look, and that's when they confirmed that there was something there and that they needed to do a biopsy. At that time, I didn't tell anybody anything. Later, my doctor called and told me that it was indeed breast cancer and that it was at the end of one of the stages. I don't remember which one, but I know it wasn't three or four. It was at the low end though. I decided to get a second opinion, and that doctor said the same thing. The biopsy revealed that the cancer was not only in my left breast, but had spread to my lymph node, under the arm. This was in October 2001. I was 49 years old.

Me: Before the diagnosis, did you ever notice anything wrong?

Brenda: No. Never noticed anything different. I wasn't in pain or anything.

Me: What was your first concern once you were told that you had breast cancer?

Brenda: I remember I didn't cry. I didn't break down. I thought I was okay with it. I had known a friend back in the early 90's who had breast cancer and she survived it. I had also known others who had survived it. So I wasn't necessarily afraid of The Big C.  My next thought was, "Okay, what do I do next." 

Me: So you were more pragmatic about it then?

Brenda: Yes. I feel like I was pretty calm, and that was for me and my son, Justin. He was not quite  13 years old at the time. So I was trying to be strong and show him what to do when something scary happens to you. I wanted him to see somebody strong; somebody who just did what needed to be done. 

Me: What was his immediate reaction, especially with him being the age he was and being a male?

Brenda: He didn't cry about it or break down. I don't know if he talked to his dad about it, which he probably did. But he seemed to be fine at the time. I was hoping that he saw that I was handling it well so that he would be able to do that too. That seemed to be working until later on. 

Me: So what was the next stage of your journey? What treatment did you go through?

Brenda: Well, in the midst of trying to make sure that my son was going be okay, life was still going on. My doctor scheduled me to have a lumpectomy, which I underwent in December of 2001. After the surgery, we chose to do chemotherapy and then radiation. It was kind of crazy around that time because Mom was coming in to stay with Justin while I had my surgery, but a few days beforehand, my car broke down. I had to have transportation in place before she arrived, so that meant I had to get a new car right before my surgery. So I had to deal with the realities of life. 

Me: What was the treatment like?

Brenda: I had to go for chemotherapy once a week for five weeks. I began that stage in December 2001. A friend would drop me off and it took about two or three hours.  I would go and sit in a pretty comfortable chair. They put an IV in my arm and gave me the chemicals to kill the cancer. But every time I went in, they'd have to take a blood sample first to check my white blood cell count and see if I was in good enough condition to do the chemo. They could only use my right arm because my left, where I had the lumpectomy, had to be protected during treatment. No pressure on it, needles, or anything. It's always been hard for them to get blood from me. I would try go in for treatment on a Thursday or Friday so that I would have the weekend to recover and make it back to work on Monday. Sometimes I felt up to going in, sometimes I didn't. Fortunately, I didn't have to use much of my own sick leave because many of my co-workers who knew what I was going through donated some of their own sick leave hours to my account. That was a huge blessing. 

Me: Sounds like you had a good support system in place.

Brenda: Yes, I really did. I had friends who would come get my son and take him to his scout meetings or just take him out for pizza or something so that I could rest. I had church members who would cook meals and bring them by the house so that I didn't have to worry about cooking.  So yes, they made the ordeal a whole lot easier on us.

Me: When did it start to get hard for you?

Brenda: The first time was when my hair first started to come out after my first chemo treatment. I had heard that there would be hair loss, but I didn't think it would come out so quickly and in such large amounts. By the time I came home for Christmas, I was wearing a wig. The hair coming out in big clumps - that was very unnerving for me. That was hard. I should have taken the time to cut my hair before I started chemotherapy. 

Me: I can only imagine. Especially since our hair is so much a part of our persona?

Brenda: Well... it wasn't so much that. It was the fact that a part of my body was coming off of me. I mean the massive amount of hair loss was overwhelming. It was very traumatic. The second hit happened toward the end of my chemo treatment. My friend had to take me to the hospital in April 2002. It was the day before Easter and I was feeling pretty bad; very weak. The hospital was the last place I thought I'd be on Easter Sunday. I wanted to be in church with friends and family. Then came the time I finally realized the toll my this was taking on Justin. When I was in the hospital, I would lie face-down across the bed because that was the most comfortable position for me. Some time later, I was at home lying down in that same position on my bed and Justin walked in and saw me there. This triggered the memory of me going into the hospital and he became very upset. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "The last time you laid in that position, you wound up in the hospital." That's when I realized he had been holding a lot inside and was truly worried about me. It just seemed  like he had been taking things so well. Clearly, he was not. So from that time on, I made sure I watched how I acted around him so as not he wouldn't worry so much.

Me: Understandably. So how did the journey go from there?

Brenda: Shortly after my chemotherapy was over, I had to go in for radiation treatment five days a week for six weeks. This went on all of May and into June of 2002. When I went in I had to lie perfectly still on my back on this hard, uncomfortable table for what seemed like hours. Then they would carefully place these little black tattoos around the area where I'd had my lumpectomy so that they could focus the radiation beam only on the site where it was needed. That was hard to endure because of my back condition (scoliosis). I was told that there would likely be side effects from the treatment, such as burning skin. Thankfully, I never experienced any of that. 

Me: How long was it until you finally received a clean bill of health?

Brenda: I believe it was around November or December of 2002 when my doctor gave me the all-clear.  I had to take a couple of prescribed medications for about five years afterward as part of my post-care plan. Since then, I've never missed my yearly mammogram. I was offered the option of reconstructive surgery, you know, since my left breast was no longer symmetrical with my right breast due to the surgery. But considering everything it took to get rid of the cancer, how symmetrical I looked was the least of my worries. I figured, nah, I can live with this. (laugh)

Me: Was there ever a time when you blamed God or yourself?

Brenda: No, I never did. I guess I've always believed that in life, you take the good and the bad. We're all going to experience ups and downs, so I never saw my ordeal as being somebody's fault... I once had a co-worker ask me if I thought God used this to punish me for some reason. I told her no, I never took it that way. He's been too good for me to say that. I did, however, consider the fact that a nasty smoking habit I had started back in college may have been a factor. I used to be a pretty heavy smoker for about 16 years. Used to smoke two packs of menthols a day. What as I thinking? I didn't stop until I learned I was pregnant with my son. 

Me: Wow! I barely remember ever seeing you smoke though.

Brenda: Yeah, well I did. It's just that you only saw me when I came home to visit, and I made sure I didn't smoke around you guys or in the house.

Me: The things you find out later in life! (laugh) Tell me, how did your experience change you?

Brenda: For one thing, I no longer take one day of my life for granted. I'm far more grateful and aware of just how fragile life can be. I'm also more aware of the miracle that is the human body. I know that things could have gone a whole lot worse. I'm so thankful. As my pastor always says, if God never did anything else for me, he's already done enough. I truly feel that way.  Now there are times when I feel guilty that my experience was so much smoother than that of others I've known. That's why I don't like to call attention to my "survivor" status. When I hear of someone who is fighting breast cancer, I just offer to share my story and hope that it brings them some encouragement in some way. 

Me: Well, I'm sure you're just as much of an inspiration to them as you are to me. In my eyes, you'll always be my Pink Warrior!

*****

On a final note, let's all make sure we go get our annual squeeze on and get that mammogram done sooner rather than later. Early detection is the best detection. And if you know of someone who is in the fight against breast cancer, reach out to cook a meal, take their kids out for some fun, or just be there to hold their hand and make them smile. Love on any level breeds love on every level.

Until next time...

Divine Blessings and Good Health to you all!

My Top 5 Fall Favorites

Tracy's Top 5 Fall Faves

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that my FAVORITE time of the year is fall (autumn for you fancy types). I love fall and all of the wonderful things it brings to life. Just makes my heart sing!

#1 Football

One guess who my favorite team is... Just as long as we don't talk about the shameful season they're having so far, you and I can still remain friends. *side-eye*

#2 Fabulous Fall Mornings

Even though it has to get well into the season for us to enjoy this perk in Houston, there's nothing like walking out into a cool, crisp fall morning to get you in the mood for a productive day!

#3 Soups On!

This is a new fave for me. Although I've always enjoyed eating soup, certain ones, like this lovely potato soup (Courtesy of hungry-girl.com) are fast becoming a part of my personal fall diet. I just have to make more effort to lighten up those good ole creamy ones, lest those pesky calories derail me and all my efforts.

#4 All Things Apple

I know that pumpkin is the new "IT" flavor for fall, but my allegiance goes to the awesome apple. I'm having a ball exploring all the amazing fall apple recipes on Pinterest. It's my number one hangout right now. As much as I love this juicy, delicious fruit, you can best believe I'll be trying my hand at almost all of 'em. Can't you just smell that sweet, cinnamony goodness right now? (picture courtesy of liveinthenow.com)

#5 Starbucks Fall Flavors

Yes, please! Mug me with one of those wonderful, hot, delicious Starbucks fall-flavored lattes, mochas, or macchiatos any day and we'll be fast friends. Sipping one of these babies on a crisp fall morning just makes me smile all over. But if I had to choose my star player, it would be... SALTED CARAMEL MOCHA. Yumminess squared!

*Fitness Journey Update*

It's been a while since I posted any updates about how I'm coming along on my journey toward a more fit me, so here's a quick report. I've reached a personal milestone - sticking to my new exercise regimen of working out 30 minutes/day, five days/week. I've been going strong for two months straight, and I'm so proud of myself! My stamina, energy, and strength are steadily improving and I'm sleeping like a champ all night. 

Since I last reported, I've lost 3 1/2 pounds (now at 258.5). So now I'm taking baby steps toward tweaking my portion control and consuming more water. This is my biggest hurdle, but with some practice and mindful planning, I know I'll start to see even greater progress. I've been so encouraged by reading the e-newsletters I get from BWLW: Black Women Losing Weight. They always feature amazingly inspiring success stories from sisters who are winning in the war on obesity. If you're trying to get your weight under control, I recommend them for their healthy tips and inspirational stories.

By the way, I've set a new target - to be FOXY & FIT by FIFTY! My 50th birthday will be 11/21/16 and this will be my present to myself. So keep me lifted, ladies. I can use the support!

Make use of the comment section and share YOUR fall faves with me, and update me on your own personal journey. We can get better together. :)

Happy Autumn!

Let the Defense Rest

If you were born in the 60's like I was, you're probably very familiar with the man in this picture. Perry Mason, played by actor, Raymond Burr, was the indisputable champion of courtroom TV. That is, before mainstream reality TV came along.

If you've ever watched the show, you know that Perry was a defense attorney. As such, his job was to present enough evidence to prove his client's innocence despite the charges being brought against them. When he had sufficiently done so, he would say, "The defense rests."

Unfortunately, the defense in today's courtrooms doesn't always look as honorable as the kind exhibited by the fictional Perry Mason. It has essentially become the act of trying to downplay, if not altogether avoid, the consequences of the truth. 

Now if this sounds similar to last week's post, humor me and keep reading anyway. This is more of a piggyback on that same theme. I promise, I'm taking you to a good place. :)

Have you ever been told you're too DEFENSIVE?

Are you TOUCHY about certain subjects?

Is it hard for you to take CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM?

If you answered yes to any of these, it's time to let YOUR defense rest. You've got to understand, putting up great defense doesn't make you any less responsible for your actions. It just keeps you stuck in denial. Don't do this to yourself. Please know that I'm not even you remotely suggesting that you welcome insults, put-downs, and mean-spirited comments. I'm talking about opening your heart and getting to the real WHY of the situation. That's what the truth is meant to reveal. Once it does, then FREEDOM can take place. 

The next time you're confronted with a personal mistake or flaw, don't put up your dukes in defense. Take the time to filter it through your spirit (hopefully, you're nurturing yours) instead of your heart. The heart is the seat of your emotions, so it may distort what's really going on and cheat you out of an opportunity to grow and become better.

Let the truth stand guard over your heart and you'll be slow to take offense and quick to listen. It it's not true, let it go.

Here's to the NEW & IMPROVED YOU!