Silent Success

I was talking with a friend of mine recently and she shared with me that she didn't feel successful in her life right now. There are some personal obstacles and professional challenges she's facing at this time, and because she's not seeing certain results, she felt that she had somehow gone off-course. I could tell by the way she was describing her circumstances that she was obviously judging herself by an improper set of standards.

I asked her to define for me what success looks like. She gave me the standard answer that I expected: more money, fewer hassles, relationships that run smoothly, etc. In her eyes, everyone else around her wasn't dealing with these things, so they must have some secret formula that she doesn't have.

I explained to her that most of us have been conditioned to believe that success is a destination rather than a journey. The truth is, SUCCESS doesn't start at the crossing of the finish line when everyone is cheering and patting you on the back. It starts with all the many intangible things you do in SILENCE that often go uncelebrated. Just ask any champion athlete. She would tell you that she became a winner by making a series of pivotal choices. Think of the countless days she woke up in the wee hours of the morning to run when everyone else was still sleeping. The times she pushed and pulled those ever-increasing weights that would soon strengthen her arms and legs. The many times she pushed her plate away when her companions kept right on eating. Every time she chose these actions, she was being successful. It would seem that those things don't matter until the day of the race. But in actuality, it is because of those silent successes that she was able to endure the race in the first place.

Once my friend received this new perspective, I encouraged her to stop rating her victories according to commonly accepted measures like a bigger bank account, a more prestigious job, or a house of her own, and begin extracting those things that have more lasting and effective value. Here's what she realized:

#1 - She is working at a place where she makes less money than she has ever made before, BUT she is blooming where she has been planted. The children she serves love her to pieces, and she has become a ray of sunshine in their young lives.

#2 - She had to move out of a house she loved but could not longer afford. HOWEVER, she and her son are learning to weather storms together as a team and as a result, they have grown much closer.

#3 - She has had to struggle with lack more often than she would like, BUT in the process she is learning new ways to use what she has available to her, and she is seeing God reveal His faithfulness to her and her son in unprecedented ways.

So I say to you, my sister, if you're struggling with self-doubt right now and you don't feel like you're making any strides toward what others have defined as success, I challenge you to look inward. Allow your challenges to transform you, not trample you.

It's not about the climax, it's about the climb.

Peace & Blessings!

Let the Defense Rest

If you were born in the 60's like I was, you're probably very familiar with the man in this picture. Perry Mason, played by actor, Raymond Burr, was the indisputable champion of courtroom TV. That is, before mainstream reality TV came along.

If you've ever watched the show, you know that Perry was a defense attorney. As such, his job was to present enough evidence to prove his client's innocence despite the charges being brought against them. When he had sufficiently done so, he would say, "The defense rests."

Unfortunately, the defense in today's courtrooms doesn't always look as honorable as the kind exhibited by the fictional Perry Mason. It has essentially become the act of trying to downplay, if not altogether avoid, the consequences of the truth. 

Now if this sounds similar to last week's post, humor me and keep reading anyway. This is more of a piggyback on that same theme. I promise, I'm taking you to a good place. :)

Have you ever been told you're too DEFENSIVE?

Are you TOUCHY about certain subjects?

Is it hard for you to take CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM?

If you answered yes to any of these, it's time to let YOUR defense rest. You've got to understand, putting up great defense doesn't make you any less responsible for your actions. It just keeps you stuck in denial. Don't do this to yourself. Please know that I'm not even you remotely suggesting that you welcome insults, put-downs, and mean-spirited comments. I'm talking about opening your heart and getting to the real WHY of the situation. That's what the truth is meant to reveal. Once it does, then FREEDOM can take place. 

The next time you're confronted with a personal mistake or flaw, don't put up your dukes in defense. Take the time to filter it through your spirit (hopefully, you're nurturing yours) instead of your heart. The heart is the seat of your emotions, so it may distort what's really going on and cheat you out of an opportunity to grow and become better.

Let the truth stand guard over your heart and you'll be slow to take offense and quick to listen. It it's not true, let it go.

Here's to the NEW & IMPROVED YOU!

The Courage to Take Correction

The other day, my husband and I were in a conversation and he brought up a bad habit that I’ve had for years. Now to be honest, I knew that what he was saying about my habit was TRUE. I just didn’t want to accept it at the time. I had a whole list of justifications for my actions, knowing full well they didn’t really hold water. Bad as it sounds, I was actually trying to protect my “right” to be wrong. Have you ever done that? Probably not, huh? It’s just me? Okay… As he gently rebuked me, I could literally feel a wall of defensiveness rising up within me. I shut down, stopped responding, and decided to just listen, albeit in a passive-aggressive manner. My character was, once again, being reshaped, and I wasn't taking it well at all.

Whoever said, “The truth hurts,” was certainly not making an understatement. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY it hurts? Isn’t truth supposed to be a good thing? It depends on what you’re after - your way or God’s. 

"No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." 

~ Heb. 12:11 NLT

Here’s what I came to realize (once I cooled down and repented). Truth is meant to bring about correction, and that correction is for my PROTECTION. I’m sure we can all agree that protection is a GOOD THING, right? 

God loves me too much to watch me destroy myself, even in what may seem like the smallest of ways. He wants me to live a life FREE of regret. The only way to do that is to embrace correction whenever it comes my way and to see it as a lifeline and not a choke hold. So when God uses someone to offer me correction, it is an act of LOVE, not punishment or shame. What kind of father would he be anyway if he just let me keep going along a path that he knows will rob me of his best for my life?

Let’s face it. It’s not a popular thing to say ’NO!” to your flesh (your will, your desires, your feelings, your opinions) - even among those in the Body of Christ. And if you’re not careful, subtle pride will seduce you into adopting your will over God’s will, instead of it being the other way around. It takes courage to accept and act on correction. But think of it this way. The initial sting you feel when you are being corrected is nothing compared to the inevitable pain you’ll feel when you finally understand why you should have taken it when you had the chance. Just ask the woman who rejected the truth about the man she chose to marry, despite the numerous warnings from those who really cared about her. But you can’t. Why? Because they still can’t find her body.

Proverbs 12:1 (NLT) warns us that it is actually STUPID for us to avoid correction. Don’t be foolish!

I challenge you not to waste another day fighting for your right to be wrong. Embrace the truth, make the correction, thank the corrector (no matter who they are or how they bring it), and LIVE!

Here’s to a BETTER and WISER you!

How are You Investing Your Tears?

My good friend, Carolyn M., shared something with me a couple of days ago, and I knew right then and there that I had to blog about it. (It's all good. I got her permission to do this.) We were talking about how she has seen a transformation in her ability to rest and restore peace to her life once she answered this crucial question that the Holy Spirit posed to her: 

Are you crying or crying out? 

In a nutshell, are you whining or are you worshipping. When you whine, you’re only focused on the problem. But when you worship (cry out), you’re connecting to The One who helps you to overcome your problems. Therein lies the difference in how many of us respond to the ups and downs of life. This resonated with me on such a deep level. I had entertained a similar thought just a few days before when I pondered how often we waste our tears on things that have no redeeming value. 

Think about it. How often have you cried over the loss of a relationship that took more from you than it deposited? How many times have you pouted when you simply didn’t get your way? How many times have you made a big stink over something that really wasn’t that big of a deal once you thought about it?

I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit that I’ve been guilty of these things and more. But thanks be to God, I came into the understanding that my tears are an investment. As a matter of fact, they are so valuable that God actually collects them!

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” ~ Psalm 56:8 NLT

Over time, I came to realize that my tears are not meant to be trifled away on issues that are actually a NON-FACTOR in my life’s purpose. So what, they don’t want to be my friend anymore. So what, I didn’t get the house. So what, things didn’t turn out like I expected. No more tears on that stuff!

The only crying I want to do is the kind that counts, not the kind that is driven by selfish desires and immature rants. I want to invest my tears in soulful cries of sincere gratitude as God overwhelms me with his eternal love and faithfulness. I want to sow my tears into passionate prayers over the lost souls in my family and community. I want my heart to stay unselfish enough to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:15). Those are the tears that will water the seeds of righteousness and bring them into full fruition in my life, just as God intended.

So what are you crying about?