3 Cool Things About Being Rejected

At 50 years of age, I've had my fair share of rejection. You know - that thing that can put you in an instant cold sweat or make you feel like you've just been sucker-punched. Yeah that.

But over time, I've come to appreciate the galvanizing force that rejection can be. It may not feel good and it's not always fair, but if you let it, rejection can become a game-changer for you. 

I can't tell you how much I've grown emotionally and spiritually just by being willing to face rejection head-on. It's actually been completely liberating, and believe me, I never thought I'd say that.

Here are three cool things I've learned about rejection:

1. Rejection can sting, but it cannot kill. Life goes on even if the answer turns out to be 'No.' Later on, you may find this was the answer you really needed anyway.

2. Once you embrace it, rejection can keep you from wasting valuable time and help you become more purposeful.

3. Rejection can be a powerful motivator. It may be the push you need to finally face your fears and stop allowing opportunities to slip through your fingers. If you take the risk, you'll find that you truly have more going for you than you thought. 

Simba, you are more than what you have become...

So go ahead. Ask the question. Make the pitch. Join the conversation. Submit the proposal. Have the audacity to ask for what you want!

As a friend so aptly reminded me not too long ago, "closed mouths don't get fed."

In the end, TRY counts more than the TRIUMPH. 

As a bonus to your personal revolution, here's an awesome TEDTalk given by author and entrepreneur, Jia Jiang. What he learned from deliberately going through 100 days of rejection (yes, he actually did this) will TOTALLY reframe your thinking. 




Much love,

Tracy

"You are D-Vine!"

The Courage to Take Correction

The other day, my husband and I were in a conversation and he brought up a bad habit that I’ve had for years. Now to be honest, I knew that what he was saying about my habit was TRUE. I just didn’t want to accept it at the time. I had a whole list of justifications for my actions, knowing full well they didn’t really hold water. Bad as it sounds, I was actually trying to protect my “right” to be wrong. Have you ever done that? Probably not, huh? It’s just me? Okay… As he gently rebuked me, I could literally feel a wall of defensiveness rising up within me. I shut down, stopped responding, and decided to just listen, albeit in a passive-aggressive manner. My character was, once again, being reshaped, and I wasn't taking it well at all.

Whoever said, “The truth hurts,” was certainly not making an understatement. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY it hurts? Isn’t truth supposed to be a good thing? It depends on what you’re after - your way or God’s. 

"No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." 

~ Heb. 12:11 NLT

Here’s what I came to realize (once I cooled down and repented). Truth is meant to bring about correction, and that correction is for my PROTECTION. I’m sure we can all agree that protection is a GOOD THING, right? 

God loves me too much to watch me destroy myself, even in what may seem like the smallest of ways. He wants me to live a life FREE of regret. The only way to do that is to embrace correction whenever it comes my way and to see it as a lifeline and not a choke hold. So when God uses someone to offer me correction, it is an act of LOVE, not punishment or shame. What kind of father would he be anyway if he just let me keep going along a path that he knows will rob me of his best for my life?

Let’s face it. It’s not a popular thing to say ’NO!” to your flesh (your will, your desires, your feelings, your opinions) - even among those in the Body of Christ. And if you’re not careful, subtle pride will seduce you into adopting your will over God’s will, instead of it being the other way around. It takes courage to accept and act on correction. But think of it this way. The initial sting you feel when you are being corrected is nothing compared to the inevitable pain you’ll feel when you finally understand why you should have taken it when you had the chance. Just ask the woman who rejected the truth about the man she chose to marry, despite the numerous warnings from those who really cared about her. But you can’t. Why? Because they still can’t find her body.

Proverbs 12:1 (NLT) warns us that it is actually STUPID for us to avoid correction. Don’t be foolish!

I challenge you not to waste another day fighting for your right to be wrong. Embrace the truth, make the correction, thank the corrector (no matter who they are or how they bring it), and LIVE!

Here’s to a BETTER and WISER you!

Banish the Box: How to Repossess Your Life (Part One)

Welcome to Part One of a blog post series I call "Banish the Box."

I was inspired to write this based on some work I've been doing recently with a coaching client of mine. In the course of our conversation, the common idiom, "think outside the box" came up, and for some odd reason that old phrase just annoyed me. As we discussed different ways of thinking about her issue, it soon occurred to me why this phrase was getting on my nerves: WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN PUT IN A BOX IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Think about it.

This whole concept of coming out of a box alludes to the fact that you're automatically in one whether you know it or not. As humans, we are born with a free will. God gave it to us. But I believe that from the time we are born, there is box we inherit from those who were already here when we arrived, and it is somehow assigned to keep us contained and manageable, lest we upset the status quo. It simply boils down to a matter of convenience.

It's inconvenient to entertain new and untested ideas. It's inconvenient to take time to nurture your growing curiosity. It's inconvenient to listen to your words and process your feelings. It's inconvenient to challenge or reject the tradition and custom, no matter how unreasonable it is. Why can't you just be NORMAL? 

Let me tell you something about NORMAL...

I strived for the better part of my life to be normal. It was a goal of mine that never matched my unique configuration. But like so many, normal seemed to offer me the best chance of fitting in and assuring acceptance by others. But I can tell you, it's an elusive goal. Why? Because it doesn't actually exist. Normal is only called that because it's common. But I've learned that just because something is common doesn't actually mean it's normal. For example, it's normal nowadays to hear people openly use profanity. But that's not normal, it's just common. You see, over time we've just grown accustomed to hearing these vile, poisonous words, so now we've accepted them as part of our cultural lingo. 

When you know in your gut that something doesn't feel right to you, why do you submit anyway? I believe The Box is to blame. It keeps you consistently aware of what everyone else thinks but you. You were never meant to live your life confined to other people's preferences. You are called to live according to THE TRUTH! How else will you ever achieve fulfillment of PURPOSE without doing that?

Starting today, I urge you to stop apologizing for your truth. Whomever is supposed to walk this journey of life with you will be able to handle it, whatever it is. Choose to kick off the box that's been closing in around you your whole life. Banish it! Seek the truth - about who you are, what you need, and why you're here. Then go after it with all you've got!