3 Cool Things About Being Rejected

At 50 years of age, I've had my fair share of rejection. You know - that thing that can put you in an instant cold sweat or make you feel like you've just been sucker-punched. Yeah that.

But over time, I've come to appreciate the galvanizing force that rejection can be. It may not feel good and it's not always fair, but if you let it, rejection can become a game-changer for you. 

I can't tell you how much I've grown emotionally and spiritually just by being willing to face rejection head-on. It's actually been completely liberating, and believe me, I never thought I'd say that.

Here are three cool things I've learned about rejection:

1. Rejection can sting, but it cannot kill. Life goes on even if the answer turns out to be 'No.' Later on, you may find this was the answer you really needed anyway.

2. Once you embrace it, rejection can keep you from wasting valuable time and help you become more purposeful.

3. Rejection can be a powerful motivator. It may be the push you need to finally face your fears and stop allowing opportunities to slip through your fingers. If you take the risk, you'll find that you truly have more going for you than you thought. 

Simba, you are more than what you have become...

So go ahead. Ask the question. Make the pitch. Join the conversation. Submit the proposal. Have the audacity to ask for what you want!

As a friend so aptly reminded me not too long ago, "closed mouths don't get fed."

In the end, TRY counts more than the TRIUMPH. 

As a bonus to your personal revolution, here's an awesome TEDTalk given by author and entrepreneur, Jia Jiang. What he learned from deliberately going through 100 days of rejection (yes, he actually did this) will TOTALLY reframe your thinking. 




Much love,

Tracy

"You are D-Vine!"

Who Can You Trust With Your Truth?

People are funny. We say we want intimacy but quickly retreat when we find out what real intimacy will cost us. We want to be with someone who truly “gets” us, but we’re afraid to be raw and authentic.

What is the risk? That we’ll be judged? Probably. That we’ll be misunderstood? Maybe. That we’ll be rejected? Could be. But so what!

Think about this – I mean really think about it. If you have to hide the real you in order to be in relationship with someone, what’s the point? The other person is being sold a bill of goods. They think they’re getting to know you when, in actuality, they’re not. What happens when you can’t keep up the charade? The first thing you’ll probably say is, “See, they really didn’t get me at all!” Well, how could they when you never even gave them the chance? Not to mention, you’re placing yourself under unnecessary pressure by trying to play a role that you’ll never be suited for.

Just recently, my husband and I were recounting some valuable lessons we’ve learned during the journey of our marriage with a group of married couples. I shared how I had to come to terms with my own authentic self and how I was finally able to take the risk of letting him see the good, the bad, and ugly of me. I told him that I had to know if I could trust him with my truth. If I couldn’t, then what did we really have? Certainly not something we could continue to build upon. Basically, I needed to know that his love for me was truly unconditional, and being my whole self - bumps, bruises, and all - was the only way I was going to find that out. This was not something to run from, it was something to run toward. I have to say that testing this out eventually brought me great peace as a woman and as a wife.

If you’re in doubt right now about the stability of a relationship you’re in, I encourage you to venture into the uncharted territories and be who you are with the person(s) who’ve declared their love for you. It’s better to find out now if it’s real or just imagined. One thing about real love is that it’s well able to bear the weight of your humanity as it grows and evolves. That’s the kind of love you can trust with your truth.