Say No More: Why You Shouldn't Always Feel Compelled to Explain Yourself to Others

There I was, doing it again.

Trying to think of an easy way to describe what I currently do for a living without sounding like a huge loser to someone I hadn't talked to in years. You see, I haven't worked on a traditional job for a long time. I'm self-employed and the Lord has given me the freedom to accept only those assignments for which I'm purposed. As a matter of fact, I replaced the word "job" with the word "assignment" years ago. (I'll tell you about that revelation in a future post). But when I found myself struggling to put what I actually do in terms that she could understand, I realized that my problem wasn't her, it was me. The more I stammered, the more questions she kept firing at me, almost like she was Detective Stabler trying to corner a perp in the interrogation room on Law and Order: SVU!

Come to think of it, why was it so important for her know so many details about my life anyway? We weren't ever even close... ever. But I digress...

When I finally got off the phone with her, I really needed to do some soul-searching. I had handled similar situations like this far too many times. I just couldn't let another birthday roll around with me still low-key campaigning for other people's approval of what God has ordained for my life. I really thought I was past that. But when she started peppering me with questions (and doing it with much smugness, might I add), it drudged up some old residue and I wasn't happy about that at all.

"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant." ~ Galatians 1:10 NLT

Do you ever feel compelled to "set the record straight" so that your image (whatever that is) stays intact? Do you especially find the urge is strongest when you're doing something that you KNOW God has told you to do? I've been there. It never works out. While you think you're saving your reputation, you're actually slowly losing sight of your own value and significance. Personally, I've found that it's not worth the risk.

It's funny how God's picture of success is often strikingly different from man's picture of success - even saved man. But I've come to realize that whatever my condition may appear to be in the eyes of others, that does not define who I am. Only the people who care about WHO I AM can legitimately say that they care about ME. Therefore, it has become my joy and privilege to leave people with their own thoughts, especially if they seem to be happiest dwelling there. I no longer carry the burden of protecting anyone from my truth!

"What other people think of me is none of my business." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

So I leave you with this, and I hope you wrap your mental arms around this truth and embrace it with all your might.

Whether you have accepted it or not, you are enough. It doesn't matter if you're still growing, still climbing, still trying, and still learning. YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Stop living your life to be approved by others. Most people are way to fickle to ever be pleased with anything you do anyway. Make your decisions, your choices, and even your mistakes on your own terms, NOT the terms someone else has assigned to you.

God loves you. He approves you. You were important and special enough for Him to send His only Son, Jesus, to die for your sins and give you eternal life.

Who else would do that for you? Nobody.

Who else is even worthy of doing that for you? Nobody.

Who do you owe an explanation to? Say it with me, "NOBODY!"

Until next week,

Rock Your Worth!

Silent Success

I was talking with a friend of mine recently and she shared with me that she didn't feel successful in her life right now. There are some personal obstacles and professional challenges she's facing at this time, and because she's not seeing certain results, she felt that she had somehow gone off-course. I could tell by the way she was describing her circumstances that she was obviously judging herself by an improper set of standards.

I asked her to define for me what success looks like. She gave me the standard answer that I expected: more money, fewer hassles, relationships that run smoothly, etc. In her eyes, everyone else around her wasn't dealing with these things, so they must have some secret formula that she doesn't have.

I explained to her that most of us have been conditioned to believe that success is a destination rather than a journey. The truth is, SUCCESS doesn't start at the crossing of the finish line when everyone is cheering and patting you on the back. It starts with all the many intangible things you do in SILENCE that often go uncelebrated. Just ask any champion athlete. She would tell you that she became a winner by making a series of pivotal choices. Think of the countless days she woke up in the wee hours of the morning to run when everyone else was still sleeping. The times she pushed and pulled those ever-increasing weights that would soon strengthen her arms and legs. The many times she pushed her plate away when her companions kept right on eating. Every time she chose these actions, she was being successful. It would seem that those things don't matter until the day of the race. But in actuality, it is because of those silent successes that she was able to endure the race in the first place.

Once my friend received this new perspective, I encouraged her to stop rating her victories according to commonly accepted measures like a bigger bank account, a more prestigious job, or a house of her own, and begin extracting those things that have more lasting and effective value. Here's what she realized:

#1 - She is working at a place where she makes less money than she has ever made before, BUT she is blooming where she has been planted. The children she serves love her to pieces, and she has become a ray of sunshine in their young lives.

#2 - She had to move out of a house she loved but could not longer afford. HOWEVER, she and her son are learning to weather storms together as a team and as a result, they have grown much closer.

#3 - She has had to struggle with lack more often than she would like, BUT in the process she is learning new ways to use what she has available to her, and she is seeing God reveal His faithfulness to her and her son in unprecedented ways.

So I say to you, my sister, if you're struggling with self-doubt right now and you don't feel like you're making any strides toward what others have defined as success, I challenge you to look inward. Allow your challenges to transform you, not trample you.

It's not about the climax, it's about the climb.

Peace & Blessings!

Well-Wishers, Well-Meaners, and Straight Up Haters

I'm on a mission. I'm called to do exactly what I'm doing right now. My life is meant to be a walking billboard of God's awesome love, glory, truth, and power. But there are obstacles that jump in my path sometimes. They come in the form of three types of people.



Well-Wishers

These are the people in my life who aren't intimately connected to me or to what God is doing for me, but they don't mind me doing my thing. They are usually the ones who just think I'm a nice person and don't have a problem with me moving upward - probably because it doesn't affect them one way or the other. But that's cool. I can live with that. At least they're not getting in the way of my purpose.



Well-Meaners

These are the people in my life who I believe geniuinely love me, but don't have a clue about who I really am. Some are friends, some are family, but they all want "what's best for me" - as they see it, that is. Whatever they measure success as, I haven't achieved it, so that compels them to do whatever they can to help me make the right "adjustments" to fit their level of understanding. For a while, I did that. But not anymore. I'm all about what God wants for me now. God's path for me makes them uncomfortable and ready to contest what my agenda really is. Rather than seeking to get an understanding, they react out of emotion. They remind me of Peter when he attempted to "save" Jesus from his impending trial and crucifixion. But Jesus had to set him straight.



Matthew 16:23 (The Message)

23But Jesus didn't swerve. "Peter, get out of my way. Satan, get lost. You have no idea how God works."



Straight Up Haters

These are the people who smile in my face, but talk about me behind my back. They don't want to see God pull off any more miracles in my life. That confuses and frustrates them to no end. They look forward to my failure. But what they don't know is failure is not what can hinder me the most; it's success. The higher I go, the more devils I'll have to confront, the more distracted I can become, the more pride can set in. If they really were as smart as they think they are, they'd be rooting for me to make it all the way to the top! But it doesn't matter what they say or do. God is with me and He trumps those who are against me EVERY TIME.



I challenge you to be bravely, boldly, unapolegetically YOU and stick to the path God has you on. Victory is yours!